Saturday, August 27, 2011

For the wife only

Can a wife call her husband by his name?  


If a wife is allowed to call her husband by his name.
Praise be to Allaah.  
There is nothing wrong with a woman calling her husband by his name, because there is no evidence to indicate that that is not allowed. But people’s customs and traditions should be taken into account in this matter. If the custom in some land is that a woman should call her husband by his kunya (Abu So and so) for example, and they think that calling him by his name is ill-mannered, or if the husband does not like to be called by his name, then the women should pay attention to that, because she is required to treat her husband well and it is not good treatment to call him in a manner that he dislikes or that is regarded by people as not good. 
Each spouse should address the other by the name that he or she likes best, because that brings about love and affection. 
Al-Manaawi said in Fayd al-Qadeer: 
The etiquette of companionship: This includes: 
Keeping secrets; concealing faults; not telling him about the bad things that people say about him; telling him about good things that people say about him which will make him happy; listening attentively when he is speaking; avoiding arguments; calling him by the name that he likes best; praising him for his best obvious characteristics; thanking him for favours that he does; defending him in his absence; helping him when he needs help without waiting for him to ask; advising him in a gentle and indirect manner – if he there is a need for that; forgiving him for his mistakes; not criticizing him; praying for him in private when he is alive and after he dies; expressing joy at things that make him happy and sorrow at things that make him sad; greeting him first when meeting him; making room for him in a gathering; offering your place to him; seeing him out when he leaves; listening attentively when he speaks until he has finished speaking; and in general treating him as one would like to be treated. 
And Allaah knows best.
Islam Q&A

Tips For Women, Women Guide, Women Tips, Women Advice

How to Attract Men and Save Marriage
Attracting men is more than a one step process. Although stereotypes exist to the contrary, men are attracted to more than just physical beauty. Learning all aspects of what males are looking for isn’t difficult. Woman must be aware of some qualities of her man, which are appreciable. He may be a good-looking person, or have a good physique, or good at speaking or writing or good at some other tasks.
1. Advance your studies. Males are attracted to educated females.
2. Become more confident in your skin. No matter your perceived shortcomings, being confident in yourself makes you more attractive no matter who you are.
3. Learn to cook. The old saying is true; the quickest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
4. Follow the latest fashion trends.
5. Smile when you are in public. Men are attracted to friendly females.
6. Concentrate on becoming self-reliant. If you can support yourself financially and emotionally, those are very attractive traits.
7. Appreciate him about his qualities then he would feel good and love you more.
8. Your man needs you to help him fight his battles. Give him the love and appreciation that he deserves.
However, it is concluded that from very early times that women can easily save the marriages with the power of her love and care.

Tips for Men to Attract Women Click For Details

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For the husband only

Bad-tempered wife  


As-salaamu-alaikum,
I have a wife who is very temperamental. She often gets angry with me, the children and many of our family members.
I have spoken to her on many occasions and she admits & then apologises thereafter. Is there something, from the Quraan or Hadith, that I may read for her to be relaxed/calm and as far as possible for this not to happen to her. Other than this, she is a wondeful wife & mother.
Praise be to Allaah.
You will find a detailed answer to this question in the book “Problems and Solutions”, which you can read on this website under the heading “"shaykh Wa Hulool",
’s books”, and in the answer to Question #658. The fact that your wife apologizes indicates that she recognizes and regrets her mistakes, which is the first step towards solving the problem. Remind her of her position in the household and that she is an example to the children, and warn her that her children may copy her bad behaviour and it may become part of their personalities, thus perpetuating the problem. Try to contain her by your patience. Your acknowledgement that she is a good wife and mother reminds me of the hadeeth of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “No believing man should hate a believing woman; if he hates one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another.” (Reported by Muslim, 2672). Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in his commentary on this hadeeth: “I.e., he should not hate her, because although he may find in her one characteristic which he dislikes, he will find something that pleases him. Although she may be ill-tempered, she may also be religious or beautiful or chaste or kind towards him or something like that.” We ask Allaah to guide your wife and make her character good. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.
Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

PATHAN OF PAKISTAN

Ancient references

The Arachosia Satrapy and the Pactyan people during the Achaemenid Empire in 500 B.C.
A variety of ancient groups with eponyms similar to Pukhtun have been hypothesized as possible ancestors of modern Pashtuns. The Rigveda (1700–1100 BC) mentions a tribe called Paktha inhabiting eastern Afghanistan and academics have proposed their connection with today's Pakhtun people.[12][13] Furthermore, the Greek historian Herodotus mentioned a people called Pactyans living in the same area (Achaemenid's Arachosia Satrapy) as early as the 1st millennium BC.[14] It is believed that these may have been the ancient ancestors of Pashtuns.[12]
Some modern-day Pashtun tribes have also been identified living in ancient Gandhara (i.e. Alexander's historians mentioned "Aspasii" in 330 BC and that may refer to today's Afridis).[43] Herodotus has mentioned the same Afridi tribe as "Apridai" over a century earlier.[44] Strabo, who lived between 64 BC and 24 CE, explains that the tribes inhabiting the lands west of the Indus River were part of Ariana and to their east was India.[12]
In the Middle Ages until the advent of modern Afghanistan in the 18th century and the division of Pashtun territory by the 1893 Durand Line, Pashtuns were often referred to as ethnic "Afghans". The earliest mention of the name Afghan (Abgân) is by Shapur I of the Sassanid Empire during the 3rd century CE,[15][16][45] which is later recorded in the 6th century CE in the form of "Avagānā" by the Indian astronomer Varāha Mihira in his Brihat-samhita.[17] It was used to refer to a common legendary ancestor known as "Afghana", propagated to be grandson of King Saul of Israel.[46][40][47] Hiven Tsiang, a Chinese pilgrim, visiting the Afghanistan area several times between 630 to 644 CE also speaks about them.[15][48] In Shahnameh 1-110 and 1-116, it is written as Awgaan.[15] Ancestors of many of today's Turkic-speaking Afghans settled in the Hindu Kush area and began to assimilate much of the culture and language of the Pashtun tribes already present there.[49] Among these were the Khalaj people which are known today as Ghilzai.[50] According to several scholars such as V. Minorsky, the name "Afghan" is documented several times in the 982 CE Hudud-al-Alam.[45]
Saul, a pleasant village on a mountain. In it live Afghans.[42]
Hudud ul-'alam982 CE
Names of territories during the Islamic Caliphate of the 7th century and onward.
The village of Saul was probably located near Gardez, Afghanistan. Hudud ul-'alam also speaks of a king in Ninhar (Nangarhar), who had Muslim, Afghan and Hindu wives.[42] Al-Biruni wrote about Afghans in the 11th century as various tribes living in the western mountains of India and extending to the region of Sind, which would be the Sulaiman Mountains area between Khorasan and Hindustan. It was reported that between 1039 and 1040 CE Mas'ud I of the Ghaznavid Empire sent his son to subdue a group of rebel Afghans near Ghazni. An army of Arabs, Afghans, Khiljis and others was assembled by Arslan Shah Ghaznavid in 1119 CE. Another army of Afghans and Khiljis was assembled by Bahram Shah Ghaznavid in 1153 CE. Muhammad of Ghor, ruler of the Ghorids, also had Afghans in his army along with others.[51] A famous Moroccan travelling scholar, Ibn Battuta, visiting Afghanistan following the era of the Khilji dynasty in early 1300s gives his description of the Afghans.
We travelled on to Kabul, formerly a vast town, the site of which is now occupied by a village inhabited by a tribe of Persians called Afghans. They hold mountains and defiles and possess considerable strength, and are mostly highwaymen. Their principle mountain is called Kuh Sulayman. It is told that the prophet Sulayman [Solomon] ascended this mountain and having looked out over India, which was then covered with darkness, returned without entering it.[52]
Ibn Battuta1333
Muhammad Qasim Hindu Shah (Ferishta), writes about Afghans and their country called Afghanistan in the 16th century.
The men of Kábul and Khilj also went home; and whenever they were ques­tioned about the Musulmáns of the Kohistán (the mountains), and how matters stood there, they said, "Don't call it Kohistán, but Afghánistán; for there is nothing there but Afgháns and dis­turbances." Thus it is clear that for this reason the people of the country call their home in their own language Afghánistán, and themselves Afgháns. The people of India call them Patán; but the reason for this is not known. But it occurs to me, that when, under the rule of Muhammadan sovereigns, Musulmáns first came to the city of Patná, and dwelt there, the people of India (for that reason) called them Patáns—but God knows![53]
Ferishta1560-1620
One historical account connects the Pakistani Pakhtuns to a possible Ancient Egyptian past but this lacks supporting evidence.
I have read in the Mutla-ul-Anwar, a work written by a respectable author, and which I procured at Burhanpur, a town of Khandesh in the Deccan, that the Afghans are Copts of the race of the Pharaohs; and that when the prophet Moses got the better of that infidel who was overwhelmed in the Red Sea, many of the Copts became converts to the Jewish faith; but others, stubborn and self-willed, refusing to embrace the true faith, leaving their country, came to India, and eventually settled in the Sulimany mountains, where they bore the name of Afghans.[18]
—Ferishta, 1560-1620
Additionally, although this too is unsubstantiated, some Afghan historians have maintained that Pashtuns are linked to the ancient Israelites.
The Afghan historians proceed to relate that the children of Israel, both in Ghore and in Arabia, preserved their knowledge of the unity of God and the purity of their religious belief, and that on the appearance of the last and greatest of the prophets (Mohammed) the Afghans of Ghore listened to the invitation of their Arabian brethren, the chief of whom was Khauled (or Caled), son of Waleed, so famous for his conquest of Syria, and marched to the aid of the true faith, under the command of Kyse, afterwards surnamed Abdoolresheed.[54]
—Mohan Lal, 1846

[edit] Anthropology and oral traditions

Earliest Pashtun photograph in which Amir Sher Ali Khan is sitting with Prince Abdullah Jan and the Afghan Sardars in 1869.
Some anthropologists lend credence to the oral traditions of the Pashtun tribes themselves. For example, according to the Encyclopaedia of Islam, the theory of Pashtun descent from Israelites is traced to Maghzan-e-Afghani who compiled a history for Khan-e-Jehan Lodhi in the reign of Mughal Emperor Jehangir in the 17th century.[44]
Another book that corresponds with Pashtun historical records, Taaqati-Nasiri, states that in the 7th century BC a people called the Bani Israel settled in the Ghor region of Afghanistan and migrated later to the southeast areas. These references to Bani Israel agree with the commonly held view by Pashtuns that when the twelve tribes of Israel were dispersed (see Israel and Judah and Ten Lost Tribes), the tribe of Joseph, among other Hebrew tribes, settled in the region.[55] This oral tradition is widespread among the Pashtuns. There have been many legends over the centuries of descent from the Ten Lost Tribes after groups converted to Christianity and Islam. Hence the tribal name Yusufzai in Pashto translates to the "son of Joseph". A similar story is told by the 16th century Persian historian, Ferishta.[18]
Caucasian race includes Pashtun (Afghan), seen on the right bottom row.
One conflicting issue in the belief that the Pashtuns descend from the Israelites is that the Ten Lost Tribes were exiled by the ruler of Assyria, while Maghzan-e-Afghani says they were permitted by the ruler to go east to Afghanistan. This inconsistency can be explained by the fact that Persia acquired the lands of the ancient Assyrian Empire when it conquered the Empire of the Medes and Chaldean Babylonia, which had conquered Assyria decades earlier. But no ancient author mentions such a transfer of Israelites further east, or no ancient extra-Biblical texts refer to the Ten Lost Tribes at all.
Other Pashtun tribes claim descent from Arabs, including some even claiming to be descendants of the Islamic prophet Muhammad (referred to as Sayyids).[56] Some groups from Peshawar and Kandahar claim to be descended from Ancient Greeks that arrived with Alexander the Great.[57]
In terms of race, the Pashtuns are classified as Caucasians[46] of the Mediterranean variant.[58] Their Pashto language is classified under the Eastern Iranian sub-branch of the Iranian branch of the Indo-European family of languages.[59]
Early precursors to the Pashtuns were old Iranian tribes that spread throughout the eastern Iranian plateau.[60] According to the Russian scholar Yu. V. Gankovsky, the Pashtuns probably began as a "union of largely East-Iranian tribes which became the initial ethnic stratum of the Pashtun ethnogenesis, dates from the middle of the first millennium CE and is connected with the dissolution of the Epthalite (White Huns) confederacy." He proposes Kushan-o-Ephthalite origin for Pashtuns.[61][62]
Those who speak a dialect of Pashto in the Kandahar region refer to themselves as Pashtuns, while those who speak a Peshawari dialect call themselves Pukhtuns. These native people compose the core of ethnic Pashtuns who are found in southeastern Afghanistan and western Pakistan. The Pashtuns have oral and written accounts of their family tree. The elders transfer the knowledge to the younger generation. Lineage is considered very important and is a vital consideration in marital business.

[edit] Genetics

Wedding Guide, Marriage Guide, Shadi Guide

Keys to Happy Marriage:
A healthy, enduring marriage requires hard work, thoughtfulness, and love. You have to be willing to make sacrifices and compromises. It’s not always easy. You can get support from friends and family, and most of all each other. If you both do your part – and start your marriage on the right foot – you can find happiness and companionship that will last a lifetime. The rewards are worth it, say most happily married couples.
*. Communication
You’ve probably heard that communication is the key to a strong marriage. Really, it’s the key to a strong relationship, period. Saying how you feel in a way that the other person understands is possible even if it’s not easy. You can improve your communication skills – even when you’re arguing – to make your relationship stronger.
*. Love and Sex
No one is denying that passion can wear off, especially when everyday responsibilities get in the way. But a little thoughtfulness and time can help couples keep that loving feeling and stay romantic.
*. Work-Life Balance
Your time is the greatest gift you can give someone. For a marriage to work, you have to make time for each other despite the other things going on in your lives. To do this, you must have good time management skills.
*. Bring Together Your Families
You marry your spouse’s family, too. Therefore, you have to blend both your families when you are newly wed. You can get along with your in-laws and they can get along with your folks, too, as long as everyone is willing to put forth some effort.
*. Having a Baby
Newlyweds are often confronted with questions about whether they’ll be trying to get pregnant anytime soon. Decide for yourselves if becoming a parent is the right next step for you.
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Sexual talk between spouses by phone

Is it allowed for a married couple to speak through the telephone about sex and to excite eachother so much that one of them or both get an orgasm(without their hands, because that is not allowed) This happens because the man is living abroad for work and they see eachother only once every four month and they miss eachother very much.

Praise be to Allaah.
We put this question to Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen, who answered as follows:
“There is nothing wrong with that. Yes, it is permissible.”
Question:
Even if there is use of the hand?
Answer:
“There are some reservations about use of the hand (i.e., masturbation). It is not permissible unless one fears that one may commit zina otherwise.”
Question:
So as long as there is no use of the hand, it is OK?
Answer:
“Yes, as long as there is no use of the hand, it is OK. He can imagine that he is with her and there is nothing wrong with that.”
They should also make sure that no one is listening to what they say or is spying on them. And Allaah knows best.
Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen

First Night Sex

First Night Sex in a Couple’s Life is Always filled with anxiety, nervousness, hesitation and there are many questions which creep up in the back of your mind but with proper guidance and information you can make your first night memorable. For many people, the first time is quite unpleasant. If it is an arranged marriage then it will be very much difficult to open up and be sexually motivated on the first night itself but just remember one thing – sex is not at all important on the first night, get to know each other better and take it easy.
In order to know how to win wife first night, you can also begin with touching and kissing and exploring each other but have sex only if you are ready for it and you are comfortable.
Sex under pressure is not good and it leads to bitterness and disappointments. Make sure that both of you understand each other and respect one another’s feelings and desire’s. However for a couples, who know each other, first time is easier since, you know each other’s likes and dislikes, and are more comfortable with each other.
Since the female orgasm is not associated with ejaculation, many women and men develop crazy theories about it, often holding themselves responsible for anything that goes wrong. In order to know how to win wife first night, you should know that the chances are that a woman may not be able to achieve orgasm as win wife first night, because she has to first feel comfortable with her own body, with the intimacy that she develops with her groom, and it is a deep journey into personal uninhibition.
And “feeling good” should last past the sex itself. And that means have safe sex so you don’t have to worry about getting pregnant or catching some horrible disease.
How to win wife first night sex in a couple’s life? is always filled with anxiety, nervousness, hesitation and there are many questions which creep up in the back of your mind but with proper guidance & information you can make first night memorable.
You can also begin with touching and kissing and exploring each other but have sex only if you are ready for it and you are comfortable in order win wife first night.

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