casual sex

What is casual sex?

"A sexual activity where those involved do not define it as romantic or their partner as boyfriend or girlfriend."

This is one of many different definitions of casual sex. What links all the definitions of casual sex is a focus more on physical rather than emotional satisfaction. Casual sex can refer to one off sexual encounters with strangers or agreements that stretch over a longer period of time. Casual sex also doesn't necessarily mean heterosexual intercourse; it can involve any sexual act with anyone. The point is that it is done in the context of an agreement where the sex is an activity that mainly satisfies a sexual desire or physical attraction.
Casual sex lacks the emotional ties that come with relationships - sex without any commitment or ties may sound appealing, and for a lot of people it can seem very attractive.

What's attractive about casual sex then?

"It was like heaven. When he was done, he simply rolled over next to me and hugged me."Grace

Firstly it's important to make the point that casual sex is not for everyone and there are many who would say it is wrong or simply don't want to do it. Agree with it or not, this is not the point.

"I didn't really know who I was and found myself craving the company of men and having sex with them without knowing their name or who they were. Sex with them gave me a momentary fill."

Chris

Whatever you think, it is a fact that casual sex is very popular and for a lot of people it's something that either satisfies a desire or serves a purpose. It is therefore an issue that affects many young people today.
It could be said that because we are often brought up to see sex outside of a long term, serious relationship as wrong, we develop a sense of casual sex being more exciting, a feeling that it is naughty or an act of rebellion that can be very appealing.
The excitement of mystery and unfamiliarity can add to the appeal of casual sex and, as often there is a low chance of meeting again, inhibitions can be cast aside. It is also made easier by the fact that the majority of the time both parties are aware that the sex is not going to lead to a relationship and are therefore more likely to be able to relax and just have sex for the pure pleasure of the actual act.
No matter how much we analyse the reasons why though, if you were to ask most people they would simply say that casual sex is attractive simply because it can be a bit of enjoyment.

So, what's the worry?

There is nothing wrong with thinking that sex should be fun. Due to the nature of casual sex though it's quite likely that you won't know the sexual history of your partner and what Sexually Transmitted Diseases they could potentially have. It could also be the case that they are unaware themselves of any infection they might have or, possibly, are just not going to tell you.

"I thought I was invincible and that nothing could ever go wrong. I was aware of the risks, but sometimes during the act I didn't care enough to stop."Sincerely, Resilient

Sex should be enjoyable for all concerned, whether it be in a long and loving relationship or in a one off drunken mistake with some vague face from your college. What's important is to remember that just because you may approach the situation as 'just a bit of fun' it doesn't mean you don't need to think about what you are doing.
You have to be realistic and unfortunately there are these diseases and infections around and if you are going to have casual sex then you are as likely to get them as anyone else.

But everyone's doing it

There is probably a very strong chance that either directly or indirectly there has been pressure to have sex from those around you.
When there is a lot of pressure around you to have sex it's very easy to just do it because you think everyone else is and it's the normal thing to do. It can take a lot of will power and a strong sense of self-respect to not give in to peer pressure and there is strong evidence around to support the view that it is often better to wait.
It's also quite often not true that 'everyone is doing it' and even if everyone is 'doing it' it doesn't mean you have to. A lot of people don't want casual sex and will make a point of abstaining from it.